The sin of jealousy
I want to share with you a recent incident I've been involved with.
I work as a gardener in a summer house of a family that comes only during vacations.
After trimming the grass, I sat down for a coffee break and a cigarette fascinated by the spring bloom of the trees in the garden. The nice housekeeper's husband arrived we shook hands, and I greeted him. I told him that his wife was in the house and he entered. Five minutes later, the housekeeper came out and asked me to come into the house.
She looked a bit agitated, and I tried to understand what was going on. I went into the kitchen looking at her husband standing there nervously. When I asked what's going on she turned to me pointing to her husband and said with tears in her eyes:
"Yoram, please tell him that we are not having an affair."
I stood dumbfounded, unable to believe my ears. I looked at the nice man who always shook my hand when he came to pick up his wife from work and asked him: Is that really what you think?
Yes! He replied aggressively. I've known it for a year and a half already.
A heated argument started between the two while I was standing between them.
Shocked - is an underestimated word to describe how I felt. I was helpless. How can I begin to explain to this man who is sure that his wife and I are having an affair for the last year and a half and accusing me for ruining his family, that there is no basis in reality. I pulled myself together and asked him to come with me for a moment to another room where we could speak quietly without the storm that was created when he was with his wife in the same room.
We sat together trying to find out how he had come to this insane conclusion while I explained to him that he was completely wrong and that there was never and never would be an affair between his wife and me!
He accepted it, but I felt he was still suspicious of it.
Finally, he went away, and his wife followed him, and I was left alone with my spring blossom and the distressing thoughts about what had happened now.
There were many questions in my mind.
How did this guy come to this conclusion about me? One of my typical characters is that I'm not flirting period! When I was a bachelor in New York, many pretty girls passed by me on the street, I was never interested in it. I was always looking for a meaningful relationship, and occasional flirting was not even an option for me.
And what I'm doing with the fact that another person accuses me of something not only being wrong but is also far from me as far as east from west.
And do I have to do something or let it go?
I understood that I had to do something about it and I must not ignore the situation that broke into my life, even if it was not my fault and in my control. I still have to take responsibility and straighten things out.
The next morning I called the housekeeper's husband and asked him to meet me for a cup of coffee. He agreed but asked me to refrain from communicating with his wife at work.
I'm not going to give into his hallucinatory demands about my way of working at the summer house.
But most importantly, I'm not going to give him up until we meet and I'll be convinced he has no anger or suspicion left for me. He's been hanging around with a ball of anger towards me for the last year and a half. When i have no clue about the way he's feeling about me.
I have to help him let it go and get him to release his anger and see the truth as it is.
Jealousy can disrupt a person's mind. It is a pawn between women and men in relationships. Sometimes it positively evokes closeness, but usually, it is harmful and destructive. It comes from a dark place, and it must be treated and repelled before any good part of the relationship is undermined. Like any power in the world, if you control it in a balanced way it will serve you, If you don’t it will sink you into dark abysses.
I'm waiting for his call! Keep track! I'll keep you updated